Question Of The Week: How To Manage Fear?
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Everyone seems to have his or her own personal remedy for conquering (or trying to conquer) their fear of public speaking.
Most presentation trainers suggest that speakers reduce stress through breathing exercises or some sort of other physical activity. I’ve always been a bit skeptical of that approach, preferring to understand what was happening in a client’s mind before diagnosing their fright with a quick physical fix.
All of that got me thinking about which tips and techniques really work, which brings us to this week’s question of the week:
How have you tried to reduce your fear of public speaking? What works for you – and what doesn’t?
Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below, and please share this link with your networks so we can get a broad range of ideas.
I’ll write a follow-up post later this week that includes many of your comments, as well as a few of my own techniques.
In the meantime, here are your answers to a few previous questions of the week:
Should You Ask Reporters For Questions Before an Interview?
What Should You Do When Reporters Know Something You Wish They Didn’t?
What Should You Do as a Spokesperson When You’re Forced To Promote a Party Line You Disagree With?
The best way to overcome the fear is also the hardest. Practice. Know your content exceptionally well and practice. When you’re in front of a crowd, you can’t fake it.
I use a trick from learning to sing — concentrate all your tension in one part of your body (I make a fist) and then release it as you speak. Don’t tense up any other muscles. For some reason, this keeps my voice from fluttering up and down the scale.
I don’t have a crippling fear, but I do get nervous. I have a few techniques to deal with it. I think one of the keys is to address it and accept it as normal before letting it overwhelm you.
1. I use the nerves. (I learned this technique from training in acting.) I channel them into energy instead of fear.
2. I understand that people just want to see someone enjoying herself. Everyone is rooting for you.
3. I understand that people like me one-on-one, so they’re going to like me one-on-100 (or whatever number). Confidence is the key, and that may come from practice–just getting in front of crowds over and over again and getting used to it.
I’ve always liked performing, so that does give me a leg up on people who hate it. But even we hams get nervous. It’s normal. I actually do think taking deep breaths helps. Some people hold their breath when they get nervous, which I figure only causes more stress.
P.S. About what Jay said: I agree that practice is a fantastic technique. Good tip. However, I do believe that you can fake it in front of a crowd, to an extent. If you mess up, big deal! Just keep going and have fun with it. For this aspect, I bet improv classes would help build confidence.
I construct an image of the audience that endears them to me, making my presentation then, almost like a gift of love. I do this by thinking of them as children.
Jay, Laurie, Leigh Ann, and Judi:
Thank you all for your comments. They’re all creative and smart, and they will make for a terrific blog article on Friday.
To those of you who haven’t weighed in yet, please do! I won’t write Friday’s story summarizing your answers until Thursday — so please think about the things you do that work best for you and join the conversation.
Thanks, all!
Brad
Ditto to all of the above; in addition, it really helps to arrive early at presentations and mingle with the audience at a break or in advance. You don’t want to be a stranger to them. Introduce yourself and make a personal connection with at least a few of the audience. They will be glad you did, and when you get up front to speak, you can look at those people and will get positive feedback from their facial expression and body language.
Given that what I do is train people to make presentations and this is one of the most common issues people come to me with, I guess I’d better chip in! 🙂
There are dozens of techniques I teach (I even do a roadshow called “Panic Like a Pro”) but this video might help… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5_cf-9VYZU
I did it as an experiment, so the quality isn’t perfect, but the content’s sound.
Enjoy….. Simon
Simon,
I very much enjoyed your video. Not only did you frame the issue of nervousness differently than most, but you did it in a scientifically credible and entertaining manner. Nice work, and thanks for sharing!
Brad
Brad,
While we usually agree on most everything with regard to communication training, as you know this is where we tend to diverge.
I certainly agree that understanding the root cause of someone’s fear is crucial, as is understanding the thought process that is taking place.
That being said, there are myriad breathing techniques and physical adjustments that will not “cure” a fear or fright, but will certainly alleviate some degree of stress when fright strikes – my favorites are here – http://www.matteventoff.com/fear-of-public-speaking-pt-ii-breathing-techniques.html.
Thanks,
Matt
I get nervous before every presentation – actually published a book called THE SHY WRITER: An Introvert’s Guide to Writing Success. I learn my material instead of trying to practice a verbatim speech. I get lost with specific bullets, but do better when the material comes natural to me. I also channel the nerves into energy, like was previously said. I force feed that energy. I’ve even told myself don’t worry about it, you’ll never see these people again. Tends to free me up a bit. And finally, I speak to individuals instead of the entire room. I make eye contact with one person as I’m saying a sentence. It’s a one-on-one conversation. The next sentence is with another attendee. And so on. The more energetic I am, the better the speech. People think I’m a comfortable speaker when in actuality, I’m fighting the nerves.